Phil-officy

There is a policeman called Phil
Whose logic is always a thrill
When the ordin'ry mind
A solution can't find
You can bet Phil the officer will

Francophanie

Lunette frissons bouche nuits
Canard bisiklet
Escargot balance bonbon
Du sang fromage roulette
Fille volet amour chevalle
Poisson bon couleur
Chemise homme fenêtre chat
Femme oiseaux la mere

The Lancastrian Men's Debating Society

Whippets, horses beer and pubs
Pidgeons, ex wives, football clubs
The night my mate the engineer
Fixed the footie all for beer
In that pub, the satellite
Dish had moved, he put it right
And everyone could see the match
We poured free beer down the hatch
All night, a skinful our reward
From a grateful landlord

Pidgeons in their derry-cots
Outrage, lies and petty plots
Behind the curtain Kevin lying
Feeling like he's slowly dying
I cannot abandon him
To the club Lancastrian
Debating 'fresh or mushy peas'
In a dialect of 'e's

The staff were very kind
They said they didn't mind
And moved him from the great debate
Of trivia that lasts 'till late
For all I know they're at it still
But he's delivered from 't mill

I left him in the silent gloom
Of a little one-bed room
Sufficient are a body's pains
Apart from old Lancastrians