Foreword
It gave me great pleasure to be favoured with the condescension of Sir Algernon one afternoon in the lounge of his London club.
The great man is well known in all echelons of Society and therefore the reader may be sure that he knows of what he speaks.
His insights, while not revelatory or novel, are nonetheless a synthesis of relevancy and a masterful distillation of that which is known to be true by all inhabitants of our Isle.
While listening to the great man, on several occasions I suppressed an involuntary ‘but of course’, and it is my hope that the reader will find themselves similarly motivated.
The division of Sir Algernon’s monologue into chapters is entirely the device of the writer, the speech itself was flawless in its logic, and entirely fluent in its delivery.
Adam Thomas – 2019
Privilege
Privilege
refers to that which you have which others do not. In that
broad sense it is true that, all living things being unique, all
possess some attribute not possessed by others. Therefore it is
necessary to distinguish between that which is unique but
inconsequential, and that which is unique and confers advantage.
The experience of having a puncture in one’s Nissan Micra is
relatively unique, since one is not surrounded by similarly afflicted
motorists at the side of the road. However I confidently assert
that no one would dream to estimate this ‘privilege’ as being of
similar worth to wafting effortlessly down the same stretch of road
in one’s Bentley Continental. The accrual of positive
Privilege - capitalised for the avoidance of confusion - is therefore
the aim of this guide. The tortuous process by which one, not
only grasps the mantle of superiority, but proves oneself
intrinsically deserving of Privilege, I refer to as The Bluing of the
Blood.
Breeding
for Altitude
It
is not for nothing that the quest for distinction is often referred
to in terms of ascent. By its very nature the accrual of
Privilege places one upon the upper levels of a pyramid, whose base
is comprised of the less-Privileged, and the un-Privileged. It
is almost as if the draining of Privilege from the lower, and the
conferring of it upon the upper, were a natural force of
progression. It is similar to the way in which tiny quantities
of gold, so small as to be unnoticed, are freed from hundreds of
tonnes of unappreciative rock, and then combined to form the
perfection of one’s Cartier/Patek Philippe etc. So also the
accrual of Privilege into a glorious mountain on which the superiors
are rightfully placed, is a boon and a signal point for the entirety
of society.
By
virtue of the automatic nature of the accrual of Privilege, those ‘at
the top’ obviously deserve their position. However this
position of altitude does engender certain difficulties. As in
literal high altitudes, so also on the rarefied pinnacle of
Privilege, oxygen becomes somewhat scarce. A tolerance for low
oxygen levels is therefore one of the natural attributes suiting one
to the acquisition of Privilege. As Privilege is acquired, a
bluing of the blood is observed commensurate with the altitude
achieved. Those in possession of great Privilege are therefore
observably cooler in temperament than the red-blooded un-Privileged.
The degree of blue-bloodedness that is achievable within one
generation is limited however, explaining why many politicians and
suchlike are early expelled from the ranks of the Privileged on
account of transgression of a hot-blooded carnal sort.
Since
true Privilege is the result of many generations of careful breeding,
I will deal in some length on the subject of how such improvement of
the bloodline may be accomplished. Before that however, a
couple of notes on the proper conduct of those propelled into the
heady heights of Privilege on account of their richly deserved
superiority.
Condescension
vs Egalitarianism
An
often heard complaint from the ranks of the un-Privileged is that the
Privileged ‘look down on them’. Confined as they are to the
squalor of their station in life, rubbing shoulders with countless
other similar individuals of little worth, the un-Privileged cannot
comprehend the viewpoint of the Privileged. Those propelled by
superiority to such an altitude that the un-Privileged are little
more than a faceless mass are not to be criticised for looking down,
since no other point of view is possible for them.
The
barely-literate among the un-Privileged may use the word
‘condescension’ in their complaint, as though knowledge of a word
of four syllables bolsters their argument. In so doing they
disprove their own argumentation and underscore their ignorance,
since the etymology of ‘condescend’ is from the latin -
descending to be with. Since the Privileged naturally occupy a
position of superiority, and need never descend, the action of
condescension is the conferring of a valuable privilege on the
recipient. This is, not an insult, but rather a highpoint in the life
of the individual of little worth that may be remembered to his dying
day.
The
benevolent condescension of the Privileged is predicated on
acceptance of their status by the recipient. It cannot be
stressed enough that condescension should never be mistaken for
egalitarianism. It is to be heartily deplored that the outward
indications of Privilege have been diluted in this modern era.
Access to nutritious food, adequate housing and warm clothing has
regrettably become so common, that the natural distinctions between
the Privileged and those of little worth may no longer be obvious
when walking in the street. Marques that previously were only
available to the Privileged, such as Jaguar for example, have been
sold to multinational purveyors of mass-produced mediocrity.
These proud symbols may now be seen everywhere in hideous states of
disarray, being driven by those who, in former generations, would
have been refused a seat on the omnibus.
At
this point it seems appropriate to make some comment on the
lamentable misconceptions that gave rise to the eugenics movements of
the 1920’s and 1930’s. The Privileged of those times
noticed with dismay the vastly superior procreative ability of those
of little worth. Contrast if you will the ability of the lower
classes to produce chimney sweeps and pur collectors in a mere 80
months from the date of copulation, with the decades of care and
dedication and expense required to bring a Privileged scion to
maturity.
It
seemed that the Privileged must eventually be submerged in a diseased
sea of mediocrity, so various laudable initiatives were proposed.
These ranged from forcible sterilisation to wholesale euthanasia, all
considered with the same benevolence as that exercised by the
grieving owner of a filly with a broken leg, who selflessly writes
off the loss by putting the creature swiftly out of its misery,
instead of subjecting it to a course of painful remediation that may
not succeed.
While
laudable in principle, these initiatives misconstrued the
relationship of the Privileged to their inferiors. The pyramid
of Privilege, like any other pyramid, requires its base to be as
broad as its top is tall. It is plain to see that the current
rarefied heights of Privilege have been reached by means of an
increase in the number of underlings rather than their decrease.
The Privileged may justly regard themselves as Apex beings.
Nature itself teaches that the world may not be populated purely with
noble lions; the wildebeest, despite its lank greasy hair and
slovenly gait, is necessary too. It is not only necessary, but
necessary in huge numbers. As a good friend of mine reminds me
“when everymensch is ubermensch nomensch is anymensch”.
A
very few Privileged may take exception to this analysis, since they
do not relish the idea of preying on humanity - however low and
degenerate. Such are generally those who, because of the
unspeakable perfidy of the honourable house, have been deprived of
the experience of riding to hounds and being properly blooded at a
suitably young age. Such must remember that the health of an
ecosystem is directly measured by its apex specimens, and that these
noble beasts must accept their responsibility to ensure the health of
the whole through the benevolent removal of the inferior. For
the system to function however, the Privileged must remember their
responsibility to all, great and small, and refrain from killing more
than they can eat.
Though
there is a regrettable increase in the mistaken belief that any and
all may occupy a place of worth in society, I am sure that my
arguments above have convinced the reader of the natural order of
things. Those of intrinsic worth have a duty, to themselves and
to society, to grasp the nettle and assert their superiority.
Those whose social genetics permit them to tolerate the rarefied
atmosphere of Privilege must rise to their potential. More than
that, they must pass their blue blood to the next generation.
They must devote themselves to the preservation and further accrual
of Privilege by ‘breeding for altitude’ as earlier mentioned.
As with the improvement of any bloodline, the proper selection of
sire and dam, and the correct care of offspring are paramount.
The
Role of the Sire
It
must be realised that the transmission of Privilege to the next
generation is exclusively accomplished through the male line of
succession. This places a great responsibility upon the Sire to
ensure that his offspring are worthy of the glorious, but admittedly
heavy, burden that they must shoulder. In undertaking to
produce an heir, the Sire must focus exclusively upon responsibility
to venerable ancestry and glorious posterity. His choice of a
vessel who must contain this priceless potential for some nine months
cannot be based upon sentiment or fancy. Admittedly the hypoxia
of the realm of privilege will assist the victory of sense and
practicality in the task of assessing the merits of prospective Dams.
A
prospective Dam should be youthful enough to produce “an heir and
one to spare”. Ideally she and the Sire will be equally blue
blooded such that an excess of maternal emotion shall not impede the
proper care of offspring (see below). Having fulfilled his
imperative to posterity, further liaison with the Dam is entirely at
the discretion of the Sire. He should however take steps to
ensure that illegitimate offspring are not allowed to jeopardise the
full transmission of accrued Privilege, through the heir, to the next
generation. It is worth mentioning that Privilege, like a
glorious soap bubble floating above the croquet lawns on a summer
day, is only divided or shared at the risk of its complete
destruction.
The
Sire’s responsibility toward offspring requires his presence, or at
least the presence of his man, at the key rites of passage.
Riding to hounds, departure to boarding school, first appearance in
court on account of a minor indiscretion, all of these are events at
which the calm, monolithic presence of the Sire, or his man, are
indispensable. As the recipients of Privilege, offspring will
know themselves to be loved by the universe itself. For this
reason the Sire should not feel a need to give outward expression to
any spontaneous benevolence toward offspring that may from time to
time disturb the tranquillity of his heart. To do otherwise
would be to impede the bluing of the blood of the offspring.
The
Role of the Dam
The
Role of the Dam is to take the name of the Sire and protect accrued
Privilege for forward transmission to the heir. Depending on
the intelligence and acumen of the Sire this may be either an active
or a passive role. In the case of a Sire capable of fathering
offspring and little else, the Dam may find herself in control of the
assets and future prosperity of the bloodline. In the case of
an assertive Sire she may find herself in a position little better
than the peacocks in the drive.
Another
misconception from history is worth mentioning at this point, though
a much earlier one than that of the eugenicists. It was thought
that an entire miniature human was contained within each sperm cell -
a homunculus. All that was necessary was to provide the
environment in which it could grow. Now however we realise that
genetic material is donated to the offspring by both the Sire and the
Dam. This consideration underscores the need for care in the
selection of a suitable Dam, lest an imprudent coupling redden the
blood.
Once
a suitable Dam has been selected it will be necessary for the Sire to
affect some measure of emotion, and make certain overtures that may
not be entirely within the realms of comfortable conduct. The
Sire should not discomfort himself in this regard, since this mode of
behaviour need not be continued after sufficient nuptials have
occurred to furnish a healthy heir, and perhaps an additional
offspring as insurance.
Having
now fulfilled her primary function, the Dam would be well advised to
cultivate a small circle of sympathetic friends with whom to while
away the days. If this is unsatisfying she may pursue good
works of one sort or another - displaying suitable condescension -
provided this does not put the Sire in a bad light and thus lead to a
loss of Privilege.
On
no account should the Dam be permitted to become the central figure
in the lives of the offspring. This would only serve to
undermine the progress of the Sire in bluing the blood. It
would also lead to confusion in the offspring who will generally have
their daily needs cared for by inferiors. Either they will come
to view the Dam as their inferior too or, far worse, come to view
themselves as equal to the servants! In any case this dilemma
will soon be solved by the departure of the offspring to boarding
school.
The
Care of the Offspring
It
is of paramount importance that offspring be constantly reminded of
their deserved position in life. This is a natural consequence
of superiority and therefore is not a subject upon which gratitude is
appropriate, since entitlement and gratitude are mutually exclusive.
With regard to every other aspect of their lives however, it should
be constantly impressed upon them that it is only by means of the
ceaseless efforts of Sire and Dam that they are sustained.
Offspring
are most certainly to be grateful, and show themselves so, for the
efforts taken to choose appropriate names, nannies, tutors and
boarding schools. If it is possible for Sire or Dam to make
themselves personally available during a few of their valuable hours
during school holidays or childhood illness, a record should be made
so that the offspring may be reminded of the sacrifice whenever
appropriate levels of gratitude are not in evidence. Such
recollection of past parental condescension may be utilised at any
appropriate time, irrespective of the age of the offspring.
Habituation
of the offspring to their role is vital. Males should be sent,
as soon as may be possible, to an establishment of sufficient rigour
such that their inclination toward triviality be suppressed.
Such establishment should be exclusively male, such that the
inclination towards independent selection of a Dam shall be bridled.
It
is true that this environment, along with suitable corporal
punishment, may engender novel outlets for emotional tension, however
such idiosyncrasies are everywhere accepted among the Privileged.
Such considerations have not proved to be an impediment to the
begetting of offspring in previous generations, and it is to be
expected that they will not do so in future, provided the prospective
Sire may look to the example of his own Sire as delineated above.
The
care of female offspring need not be so rigorous as that of the
male. Removal at an early age to a suitable establishment is
still desirable, however the function of such establishment shall be
one of finishing rather than education. While no appreciable
gain in Privilege may be accrued via female offspring, their actions
or omissions may result in its loss, therefore the importance of
finishing cannot be overstated. In short, female
offspring may be regarded as finished when, even while unsupervised,
their actions and speech may be relied upon to produce no loss of
Privilege to their progenitors, prospective Sires, or descendants.
Loss
of Privilege occasioned by ‘unfinished’ actions may even occur
long after the demise of the miscreant, as demonstrated by the
disrepute engendered by the liaisons of a notable Dam of the past
with Scottish gamekeepers/Indian clerks etc. It behoves Sires
and Dams not to neglect the proper care of female offspring, lest
that which is gained by one gender be lost by the other.
The
Care of the Heir
Comments
regarding the accrual of Privilege by female offspring above may be
disregarded when a Sire and Dam are in the position of producing a
female Heir. This regrettable circumstance will, in all
likelihood, last no longer than one generation. Once the female
Heir has produced male offspring, and that offspring has achieved his
majority, it is to be expected that the situation will return to its
natural equilibrium. If this aberration is to be weathered
without loss of Privilege, it will be necessary for the female Heir
to act outside her normal capabilities. For these reasons,
advice regarding care of the Heir is to be followed irrespective of
gender.
(In
the event that production of a male Heir postdates production of the
female by some significant period, ‘demotion’ may cause some
domestic disturbance and sibling animosity. It is to be
remembered that all this is all to the good, as the female offspring
will eventually come to appreciate that she is better off in her
natural sphere. In such a case the Sire is much to be
commended, since his sense of duty will have motivated a far longer
period of attention to the Dam than that required of his more
fortunate brethren.)
It
must be remembered that the transmission of all accrued Privilege
will take place by means of the Heir. If the family as a whole
occupy a coveted elevation on the pyramid of Privilege, then the Heir
will naturally occupy a position still higher. It is only
appropriate that this distinction should mark the Heir as inevitably
superior to his siblings, and that this distinction should commence
from his first moment of existence. Emotions of regard and
warmth that can be summoned by Sire and Dam in respect of offspring
should be directed exclusively to the Heir. Even if the
sensation of such is entirely beyond the Sire and Dam, this
need not hinder their affectation. The effort involved in such
affectation need not be excessive, since it is directed to only one
of the offspring.
Receipt
of proper care will engender entirely appropriate emotions of
superiority in the Heir. These should be nurtured and
encouraged by preferential treatment in the matters of resources and
discipline. The Heir will thus be early accustomed to the need
for exertion in competition. Consider the heroic struggle of
the cuckoo chick as he exerts himself to empty the nest of all
impediment to his destiny, and you cannot fail to be impressed by the
way in which the natural world mirrors the human. This is not
to say that Sire and Dam should permit the actual destruction of
siblings, after all the Heir may himself meet with accident or ill
health. Rather they should invest their attention and resources
in that which offers the best return. They should remember that
an early acclimatization to the role of apex creature will prepare
the Heir for the lifelong struggle that is the preservation and
accumulation of Privilege, for transmission to the next generation.
A
Note to the Nouveau Riche
Privilege
is to money as a fine samurai blade is to a blunderbuss. It is
not for nothing that the shoguns of ancient Japan resisted the advent
of powder weapons in their realm. Suddenly this upstart
weaponry, that could be operated by the meanest peasant, could negate
the value of years of training on the part of the samurai warrior.
Of what benefit was it that the samurai could dismember a falling
criminal into nine parts before he hit the ground, if the great
unwashed could fell him from a distance of yards by pulling a lever
on an oily device available to all? They feared the destruction
of Privilege, but as with the other examples from history mentioned
above, they were mistaken.
For
true Privilege to occur, wealth must be accompanied by breeding.
As noted above, the merely wealthy are prone to appalling lapses in
character due to their lack of breeding. Hardly a day goes by
but some kicker of pigs’ bladders or proprietor of a scandal rag is
found to have committed a faux pas that no possessor of breeding
would commit in millennia. It is not that the Privileged
possess greater self control than these parvenus, it is rather that
the institutional memory acquired in the preservation of Privilege
over the generations renders such blunders unthinkable, indeed
impossible.
So
with the samurai versus the peasant, however he may be armed.
Even if the samurai must go into hiding and temporarily forsake his
rightful place of superiority, he need not think that his place will
be supplanted. It will rather remain vacant since none other
possess the blue blood required to live at his exalted altitude.
With the turn of the wheel and the rotation of the cosmos, the
Privileged progeny will rise again to their position of superiority,
having dutifully preserved the Privilege with which they were
entrusted.
The
Virtue of Dignity
If
my
monologue has
stimulated
a desire for your own social advancement, then I must disabuse you.
My
objective has been to provide a guide to the justly deserved social
advancement that has already occurred, delivering you to your realm
and us to ours. While there may not be Privilege on all levels
of the pyramid, there is dignity. The dignity of the honest
soil from which springs the flower, the dignity of the infantryman
who receives the standard from his fallen comrade and
then passes said standard to his Commanding Officer,
the dignity of the vehicle which bears the dignitary. It is my
humble desire that all should value the dignity of their position,
and content themselves with the knowledge that they have contributed
to the glorious Privilege with which society is crowned.
Told
to Adam Thomas by
Sir
Algernon
St John Berkshire
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